MYSTIC MUTT HOROSCOPES

We are introducing a new fun section to the website. Come and read your pets horoscope and we are hoping to add more lighthearted stories in time.

Leadbra with butterflies rising (23 September – 22 October)

WELL BALANCED OR FLIGHTY?

If you are a dog born under the sign of Leadbra, you are the social butterfly of all of the signs. Leadbra’s thrive on companionship and are charming, extroverted and equally love being with people and other pooches. Wherever you take your Leadbra pooch, be assured that they will make new friends for life. They love to surround themselves with interesting people and other canine friends that can introduce them to and teach them new things (often things you'd wish they hadn't learned!)
Leadbra’s are renowned for their love of beauty (they usually think they are the most beautiful thing in the universe as they are extremely vain!) so don’t be surprised if you’re trying to take a selfie to send to friends and your pooch photo bombs you, and all your friends receive is a selfie of your gorgeous baby!
A Leadbra absolutely adores being pampered, so please factor in the ENORMOUS expense to your finances to keep them looking their best!
Your Leadbra pooch is all about being well balanced in all things – they love peace and fairness in everything they do. A disagreement with one of their doggy friends over the tastiest bone can upset them for days as they are a peacemaker and always want their world to be in harmony.
The love of balance in your pooch’s life can lead to them driving you insane at times as they are sooooooo indecisive! Coupled with their love of beauty and vanity – a quick saunter around the park in winter will take hours and hours of indecision on what jumper/coat to wear as they could never be seen out in public looking anything but perfect!
One of the downfalls of being owned by a Leadbra is that they are self-absorbed, so when things don't go perfectly right for them, they feel as though the world is ending (bit of a drama queen really!).
Entered them into the local fun dog show and they didn’t win in every category?!!! Be prepared for your pooch to take to their bed with a touch of the vapours, to lie there looking very sad and dejected and unloved and stamping their dainty paw in disgust that “it wasn’t fair”!



Furgo with sleuths rising (23 August – 22 September)

LOGICAL OR TOTALLY OVER ANALYTICAL?!

If you are a dog born under the sign of Furgo, there is absolutely nothing about you that is spontaneous, every single thing you do has to be thought through very, very carefully to decide if a) you want to do it and b) if it’s a good idea!.
Not for you the impromptu trip to the beach to dance along the shore and go crashing into the waves – your mind will be constantly questioning the “what if’s” – “what if the sea is cold on my paws?”, “what if I go under and find I can’t swim?”, “what if I get sand stuck in my fur and shake it all over Mum’s new rug?!” and on....and on....and on!
However.........all is not doom and gloom as once a Furgo has thought everything through in minute detail and decided something IS a good idea, there is no stopping them and they will throw themselves into it with total abandon! So.........if they think that burying their bone in your beautifully manicured garden is the way to go.....there will be no way to dissuade them from it! A dog is known as man’s best friend, and a Furgo pooch will be your most reliable, kind and patient companion. Tired after a hard day at work? Your Furgo pooch will instinctively know that a long walk is not on the cards YET, will bring you your slippers and cuddle up with you until you’re ready to take them for a stroll.
As your Furgo pooch loves to think everything through to the nth degree, their standards are very, very high and if you don’t live up to these exacting standards, you may find yourself becoming unstuck!
If breakfast is at 8.00 a.m. served in their favourite bone shaped dish, warmed to 16o and placed under their favourite chair, woe betide you if this isn’t done to perfection! Your Furgo pooch is also known for being extremely stubborn and not liking change, so a set routine is a must and if you try digressing from this you will soon realise that YOUR routine has to fit in with THEIRS! Once you and your Furgo pooch have established the pecking order, the key to a happy relationship is to make your uptight, overthinking pooch learn to relax and what better way than learning canine massage with loads of tummy tickles thrown in for good measure!



Fleao with Oscars rising (23 July - August 22)

A BORN SHOW OFF & A DRAMA QUEEN!

If you are a dog born under the sign of Fleao your human definitely will always play second fiddle in your home – YOU are the centre of attention, the one who runs the show and who dictates what you will do and when!
A Fleao pooch absolutely loves the limelight – any opportunity to show off and they are in heaven! Whether it be a fun dog show (although Fleao is soooooooooo competitive, they will take this VERY seriously!), being top of their training class or just generally showing off their talents in front of your friends and family – this is when Fleao’s are in their element.
But whilst a Fleao may come across as vain and narcissistic, they are loyal, fiercely protective of their nearest and dearest, generous, sunny, and big-hearted. Feeling down and depressed? You can always rely on your Fleao friend to help you see the bright side of any situation and feel fired up and ready to take on the world.
Please be warned though..........if your Fleao pooch is NOT getting the attention and adoration they feel they rightfully deserve, you could have major dramas and tantrums on your hands worthy of the greatest Oscar winner!
Don’t be surprised if the tastiest of canine treats go untouched or the contents of the toy box end up being tipped all over the garden!
The way to fix this?! Showering your Fleao with more and more and more adoration and love of course!



“Grrrancer” with Pincers rising (22nd June – 22nd July)

LOYAL (or is that clingy?!) & INTUITIVE

If you are a dog born under the sign of “Grrrancer” there is no sign more loyal! They would lay down their life for you, love you unconditionally but by God, they expect the same in return, scribed in blood!

If you’re the kind of dog parent who needs a bit of space and privacy i.e. you don’t want your pooch constantly sitting on your head, taking up all your bed or following you to the bathroom (!) do NOT consider a Grrrancer, there really is no escape!

As Grrrancer’s are linked to crabs, they will go to EXTREME lengths to protect their homes. Like visitors? Tough! Like having deliveries? Tough! Single and thinking of starting a relationship? Tough! This is where the name “Grrrancer” comes from – your Grrrancer pooch will make the BEST guard dog in the world as anyone who tries to come within 10 feet of you, will attest to!

Your Grrrancer pooch has an almost supernatural sense of intuition - they KNOW what you’re thinking. If you even contemplate taking them to the vets and leaving them there, they will know! Thinking of splitting that treat in half so they don’t get fat? DON’T! You’ve been sussed! Yes, they can be moody and can go from licking you and jumping all over you exuberantly one minute to sulking in a corner the next, but as the moon controls their moods – just get used to it, and ride out the storm!

Whilst Grrrancer’s can sound like a lot of hard work – the work you put into them will be returned 1,000 fold as they are so incredibly caring and protective and you will have your best friend for life.



“Mayhem”ini with Snouts rising (22 May – 21 June)

DOUBLE THE FUN OR PLAIN TWO FACED?!

If you are a dog born under the sign of “Mayhem”ini your human is either blessed to have double the fun and love from you (as you are born under the sign of the twins) or may often be perplexed – wondering if an alien has replaced their loving, sweet little pooch with “demon dog”!

Mayhemini’s are one of the smartest signs in the Zodiac with a mind that's constantly racing, even when they appear to be having an afternoon snooze! And it’s this intelligence that will get them into sooooooooo much trouble and mischief!

Whilst your pooch will be top of the class in sports like agility and doggy puzzle games, don’t be surprised if you come home and they have learned how to jump a baby gate or artfully opened the locked food cupboard!

And why is Snouts your ruling planet? “Mayhem”ini’s are the nosiest sign in the Zodiac! Whilst your baby may be your ultimate confidante they are renowned for being awful gossips! So don’t be surprised if you get some very strange looks from the other dogs when you go to pick your pooch up from doggy day care!

Despite their unfair rep for being two faced, once you have a “Mayhem”ini in your life, they’re loyal for life but woe betide you if you abuse that loyalty! Thinking of coming home smelling of other dogs? Don’t expect to be forgiven for a VERY long time!

 



Pawrus with Bonio’s rising (21 April – 21 May)

YOU ARE AS STUBBORN AS A MULE!

If you are a dog born under the sign of Pawrus, be under no illusion that YOU own your human, not the other way around! You can be told (or even asked nicely!) to do things....... repeatedly, but hey......if you’re not in the mood to do it, your human can go jump! Recall? Nope, too busy sniffing in the bushes, thank you!

But while you will always want things done YOUR way, a human who is owned by a Pawrus dog will never, ever find a more loyal friend.

Pawreans are renowned for loving the finer things in life, they are a real pleasure seeker – soft, fluffy beds, being serenaded to sleep by their human whilst being gently tickled and fed the tastiest of morsels!

But..........as Bonio is their ruling planet........all of these indulgences can result in a dog born under the sign of Pawrus having a constant battle with “love handles” and a revolving membership in “Weight Wuffers”!

A Pawrean pooch is definitely not for the feint hearted – they will drive you crazy with their independent, dogged (!) ways whilst subtly wrapping you firmly around their adorable fluffy paws but......once they love you, their heart is yours.........forever.



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